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Chapter 1

No Rest for the Wicked: Chapter 1

The snowstorm raged outside the LAN party venue, its howling wind matching the intensity of the virtual battles unfolding within. Inside, six friends huddled around glowing monitors, their breath visible in the chilly air as they braved the elements to continue their quest in the unforgiving world of No Rest for the Wicked.

“I think the weather scared everybody off,” Mitch said, adjusting his headset as he surveyed the nearly full room. “The only ones who made it are us diehards.”

Adam nodded toward the window where snow piled up against the glass. “I’ve got a company truck that’s four wheel drive now. And so like, I’m totally okay with, with, I don’t give a fuck if that truck gets hurt. Like, so if we need to go run errands, we’ll do it in my truck.”

Jacob chuckled, already logging into the game. “Sweet. Though Rob’s supposed to be here, but he, he’s like, I have a family.”

As if summoned by the mention of his name, Rob’s voice crackled through Discord. “What up?” The screen showed his webcam feed, revealing a man in his late thirties trying to balance gaming with domestic responsibilities. “Oh, I’m gonna… My name is ChazX and I like to eat babies.”

The room erupted in laughter, a running joke that had started months ago and showed no signs of abating.

“ChazX loves to eat babies,” Mitch deadpanned, already navigating his character through the game’s dark corridors. “Human babies, specifically.”

“Human babies,” Rob confirmed with mock seriousness. “ChazX loves to eat babies.”

“Alright, let’s focus on the game,” Evan interjected, his avatar already moving toward the objective. “There’s a daily challenge to mine 10 copper ore veins. Anyone want to tackle that?”

“Nah,” Jacob replied. “I think we should hit Saltborn Tower. There’s some good loot to be found there, and we need to work on our Illuminate abilities.”

Mitch sighed as his avatar stumbled in the darkness. “I can’t see anything without the light. It’s making navigation nearly impossible.”

Suddenly, Trey’s avatar illuminated the path ahead. “Stick with me and you’ll never go hungry again!”

“Illuminate!” Mitch exclaimed, his character finally bathed in light. “We will never be hungry again.”

Adam snorted. “Did you just recite Trump’s speech to Venezuela?”

“Uh, Lion King,” Mitch corrected quickly. “So Scar.”

“The Lion King,” Trey confirmed. “So Scar.”

The banter continued as they descended into Saltborn Tower, their virtual footsteps echoing through the game’s dark corridors. The Illuminate rune proved more challenging than expected, with Mitch constantly losing his light source and Jacob leading the group in circles.

“I think I’m close,” Jacob said, though his avatar was clearly moving away from the objective.

“You’re not close,” Evan pointed out. “You’re going the wrong way.”

The group eventually found their way to a treasure room filled with copper ore and valuable items. Mitch discovered a one-handed plague wand while Jacob secured purple two-handed plagued weapons.

“I just got purple two-handed weapons,” Jacob announced proudly. “They’re plagued. It’s attack stamina cost increased by 26%.”

“A plagued item?” Mitch mused. “There is a way to purify it, but… Just because I’ve seen an item that was purified, I don’t know what the process is.”

“Being able to parry is going to really be part of that,” Jacob added. “I parried him in the second phase. I don’t know about those. I don’t know. I know in Dark Souls there’s Elden Ring, there’s stuff you can’t parry, there’s moves.”

As they looted the room, Rob’s attention seemed divided between the game and his home life. “Really glad I can see all you guys on webcam right now,” he said. “That’s really cool. It’s going to be nice to see my friends.”

Suddenly, Mitch’s avatar fell through the floor. “Dude, you got warped into the ether plane,” Evan observed as Mitch’s screen showed a “missing location” error.

“I fell through,” Mitch confirmed. “It says missing location is where you are.”

The group eventually regrouped and decided to attempt the “Of Rats and Raiders” dungeon, where a formidable boss awaited them. The Black Trench Central Chamber lived up to its reputation, with the enemy dispatching team members with alarming efficiency.

“Oh, Jesus. I just died. Whoa, I just fell off the map,” Evan exclaimed as his avatar succumbed to the boss’s attacks.

“I forgot these guys hurt so much more than everything else we’ve been fighting,” Jacob noted, barely dodging a sweeping attack.

The boss entered its second phase, teleporting around the arena with unnerving speed.

“He’s just popping around. Get out of the way!” Jacob yelled, trying to coordinate the team’s movements.

“This guy is fucking crazy,” Evan agreed, his avatar barely surviving a direct hit.

“God, he’s flying fucking all over the place. Get outta here,” Mitch added, frantically dodging telegraphed attacks.

“I don’t know that I’m worth reviving,” Trey admitted after dying instantly. “Because he just one or two shots me.”

The group strategized between attempts, discussing their builds and abilities.

“I have increased healing and I have lifesteal and I have health on kill,” Jacob explained. “I’m keeping my team alive.”

“I’m doing a, ooh, deal major ice damage around you on damage take,” Evan said. “cool we ready that might hurt everyone else around you if that’s what i didn’t get it yeah well don’t stand next to me i’m killing shit yeah”

“Once you get enough upgrades, you’re kind of like a fucking boss,” Evan added optimistically.

During one particularly frustrating attempt, Rob shared an amusing anecdote. “I was watching one of the weather streams like Ryan Hall, y’all yesterday, and someone gave him $100 in a super chat to say Leroy Jenkins. And he’s like, I appreciate the super chat, but I’m not going to do that.”

“Wow. That’s hilarious,” Mitch responded.

“I’m trying to save my voice,” Rob continued. “They just accepted $100 to not say Leroy Jenkins.”

“Kind of shitty. Yeah,” Trey agreed.

“Yeah, it’s not a cool move. No animation,” Jacob added.

“Say it. Just come off. Just say it,” Mitch urged.

Eventually, Evan’s avatar charged in during a particularly chaotic moment. “Leroy Jenkins!” he shouted, referencing the famous World of Warcraft video. “Oh no animation straight into it.”

The attempt ended in disaster, but the laughter that followed helped alleviate the tension.

“Maybe we should try the Crucible instead,” Jacob suggested after several more failed attempts. “At least we can respec our characters there if we die.”

The group agreed and made their way to the Crucible Atrium, a multi-chamber dungeon promising greater rewards but even greater challenges.

“Unlocks the ancient power to refill health through traces within the Crucible,” Jacob read from the game text. “Awake a relic of the atrium where a worthy seeran can be respoken and reallocate their attributes.”

“Oh, Mitchell. Yeah, we can respec right here,” Trey confirmed.

The group experimented with their new respec options while navigating the treacherous environment. Mitch, ever the comedian, kept the mood light with running jokes about Rob’s cat.

“The cat puked in the kitchen,” Mitch announced suddenly. “So don’t step in the puke.”

“She says, yeah, and I’ll do it again,” Mitch continued in a mock-cat voice. “I’ll give her some chicken.”

“I’ll puke in your lap. Next time,” he threatened.

“That’ll make her stomach feel better,” Jacob deadpanned.

As they progressed through the Crucible, the group discovered that with enough upgrades, they could indeed become “fucking boss” as Evan had predicted. They found better gear, improved their builds, and despite numerous deaths, they began to feel a sense of accomplishment.

“Just eating me off a ledge,” Trey complained after falling to his death. “I bet you wish he had help.”

By the end of the night, their inventories overflowing with loot and their characters significantly stronger, the group decided to call it quits. “I’m going back to Marketplace,” Jacob announced. “My inventory is completely full.”

“Think we’re going to crucible again?” Evan asked, already planning their next session.

“Maybe,” Mitch replied with a grin. “But first, I think we deserve a break. And maybe Rob should check on his cat.”

The friends laughed, sharing one more round of jokes before saying their goodbyes. As they shut down their computers and prepared to brave the snowstorm outside, they knew that their adventures in the world of No Rest for the Wicked were far from over. The Pestilence still raged, the bosses still awaited, and there was always more loot to be found. But for now, they were content with their progress, looking forward to the next time they could gather and face whatever challenges awaited them in the dark, unforgiving world they had come to love.